


If it wasn't for you

by SunFallDown



Category: Lamento -BEYOND THE VOID-
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Angels, Blood, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 18:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7279447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunFallDown/pseuds/SunFallDown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A young, blond haired seraph is sent once again to a pilgrimage by his teacher. He has to recover a parchment for his instructor on a faraway land, but things are not as easy as just sending him away. There's a certain ginger the instructor has to get through first.</p><p>So now, he has a new bodyguard. Someone with wings as black as a raven, and eyes as cold as ice. What kind of person is he? What kind of angel is he? The seraph asks himself these questions constantly and won't stop thinking about it. </p><p>In other words, the story of the adventure between Konoe, the pilgrim, and Asato, the soldier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If it wasn't for you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Inattani](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Inattani).



> I'M LATE I'M LATE I'M LATE I'M LATE.
> 
> HAHAHAHAHA school is hell. Anyway, hello everyone! Since I'm one of the administrators of the N+C Exchange Event, it's absolutely unprofessional from me that I'm posting my gift late and I'm 100% aware of it. I'm completely and utterly sorry to Inattani, who is my giftee, because of the delayal. I'm truly sorry.
> 
> About the fic: The injuries and death here referenced are not graphicly depicted, yet, if you feel more comfortable avoiding them, it's okay too. It's not 100% plot relevant. Also, I'm planning to make this some kind of series? I don't know yet, but I have some more ideas that could depelove in the future.
> 
> And, finally, THIS GOT WAY OUT OF MY HANDS. OHMYLORD WHY DID I WRITE SO MUCH.

“May The Wind give us our wings back.”

He finished the prayer with the usual plea and opened his eyes. Before him stood Their statue, glazing him down coldly, judging silently his prayers and praises. Would They someday listen to him? Or to someone, ever? Konoe had his doubts but, nonetheless, this was his duty.

Standing up slowly from where he knelt on the floor, he glared back to the eyes of the statue at the center of the arrangement. The marble eyes never flinched, contrary to his own amber ones, and so he tried to hold that piercing gaze for over a minute, but had to look down again, defeated. The aura surrounding the statues was always heavy, threatening, especially now that it seemed like they were actually criticizing him for his rudeness. Konoe fixed his eyes on his bare feet, head bowed down almost apologetically.

He was not supposed to disrespect the image of the Gods themselves.

Instead, he slowly started walking out of the temple, with the same marble-cold eyes judging him from behind. Truly, whoever had made those sculptures in the very first place was an odd kind of artist. All of them looked too real. What did that person do to reach such a high level of talent in art? Was that their given grace? Mastery at sculpturing? That sounded like a good explanation on why he always felt like he was about to get cursed each time he went to pray. It was annoying. Couldn’t the artist have carved a less realistic depiction of Them? Goodness, Konoe was even able of counting the hairs on the beard of the central one. It was nightmare-inducing.

“Konoe.” A chill ran down the blond's spine, reaching his very core.

_Oh no_ , he thought. I know what this means.  _Heavens, can't I enjoy a single week without a pilgrimage?_

Releasing the doorknob he had just grabbed into his hand, Konoe turned around. Behind him, glowing feathers fell from above as his guardian made his way down from the bell tower. Four pairs of fire wings flipped graciously as he stood in the middle of the hall.

“You seem to attach to your schedules perfectly,” Leaks declared. Was he praising Konoe? What an odd sight.

Leaks, the High Priest, the Mighty Sorcerer, the First Rank Seraph… All these given names represented how powerful he was. Although he bore no skill in direct combat, he was an enemy to fear and an ally you should never betray. His wings' fire was unmatched; he could burn an entire city to ashes with one snap of his fingers. Even Konoe's fire was a dim, pathetic light against that all-mighty flame.

Konoe sometimes asked himself how he got to become his apprentice. Konoe knew that seraphs were rare, scarce. If he ever met another seraph in his life it would be considered a miracle, and it could possibly trigger an entire cult, but still, the fact that he was learning a seraph's disciplines from the mightiest of the mightiest race of angels was too much of a coincidence. What kind of deal had his father made with him? There surely was  _something_ behind it.

“I'm impressed by your progress, too,” Leaks continued. “Your fire casting improves daily, your combat abilities improve rapidly, and your singing given grace is just as perfect as always.”

“Thank... you, I guess?” Konoe was shocked.

“What do you mean by 'I guess'?” Leaks asked, coldly.

“I mean, it's not usual that you congratulate me.”

“I'll congratulate you when you deserve it.”

“And when you need me to do something.”

Konoe had been learning from Leaks for long enough, for him to be able to remark some of his common patterns. For example, his wings had a tendency to flinch easily when he was stressed out, causing his feathers to drop from his wings more easily. He also bit at his knuckle when he was thinking too hard. And he had a bit of an habit to praise Konoe whenever he was going to ask him for something.

“What is it now?” Konoe asked. “I really want to go to the merchant’s and buy some ornaments for my room.”

Leaks didn't speak for a second, probably offended by Konoe's boldness. “I need you to go on a pilgrimage.”

_I knew it,_ Konoe thought. “And why exactly?”

“I need you to recover a relic. I won't give you any more details until you tell me if you accept it or not.”

Usually, Konoe had no option when it came to such demands from Leaks. So, it was strange that his teacher gave him the opportunity to choose this time. Was that a trap question? Was he being tested? Was he supposed to say “yes, of course, I accept,” or something? And what was the weirdest of this all was the secretiveness of the mission. Leaks usually never held details back when he wanted Konoe to go on a pilgrimage.  _This_ wasn't usual at all. Either way, Konoe held his fist close to his heart and chanted...

“The fire on this wings burns with determination and expectancy from the mission in front of me. I'll take it by the honour of the flame that ignites my life.”

“Good.” Leaks hummed, seemingly pleased. “Then, listen to me.”

 

* * *

“I can't believe it.” Konoe was gritting his teeth so hard he could almost hear them breaking. “I swear I'm never accepting a pilgrimage again until I know the details.”

“Do you need me to talk to him?” Shui asked, kindly.

Konoe stopped the act of violently stuffing things inside his travel bag for a second. He had been packing since he had gotten home, but his bag was a complete disaster, mainly because he had been angry during all the progress.

“No, I already accepted. I can't take it back. Thanks either way, dad.”

Shui was standing on the frame of his bedroom's door, looking at him with a worried expression. As far as Konoe knew, his father was the closest one to Leaks, so he was being serious when he asked if he should talk to him. Out of all the people Konoe knew (Leaks, his father, his deceased mother, Tokino, a couple of rocks too), Shui was the best candidate to reach out to Leaks. It was sure he could agree with him on something.

Yet, what Konoe said was true. He had given his word to accomplish the task, so, taking it back now would be disgraceful. If They saw him breaking his promise, Konoe could be cursed, even killed because of it. Swearing in the name of the Gods was like signing a contract. It wasn't just a simple law, you were bound to your word by nature. Breaking your word would be contra natura, and no one ever wanted to know what happened if they did so.

“Okay.” Shui approached him, searching for some other things Konoe should take with him. “Do you have an idea for how long you'll be out?”

“Uhh... Like, two months? I don't know. It surely is far away.”

“Two months?!” His father almost seemed to have a heart attack. “Where in all the heavens are you going?!”

“To Ransen, in Sisa.”

Sisa was a neighbor kingdom of a  _neighbor_ nation,  _neigbor_ to the realm where Konoe's village, Karou, was situated.  Basically, Konoe had to get through all of his native realm, cross an enemy nation, and then he'd be in the kingdom he was destined to arrive for his pilgrimage, and then he had to search for the city he was looking for, and it was a pain. A great, big pain in the ass. Konoe would be cussing in that moment, but, you know, his father was on the same room.

“Oh my lord... I'm going to talk to Leaks nonetheless. What exactly is he searching for now?”

“A relic,” Konoe confessed. “Some kind of parchment hidden inside an ancient temple. That's what I can tell you.”

“All this for a piece of paper?!” Shui was angry. That was another strange thing. He never ever got angry. Not even towards Leaks, but this time… “Is he even aware of the danger he's putting you through? You must cross Kira! What if someone recognizes you? They could harm you! I'm not allowing this.”

“Dad, I know you want to help, but, as I said, I already accepted the mission. There's nothing I can do about it.”

“But there's, surely, something _I_ can do,” Shui said as he stomped out of the room. Konoe tried to stop him, but his father was sneaky and really fast on his feet.

In the end, Konoe just kept packing up his bags. He'd need a lot of changing clothes and some food and money for the long trip. Also, he'd need this, and that...

 

* * *

“Absolutely not.” Leaks’s expression was deformed with anger.

“Then I'm not allowing it.” Shui was impassive.

“A seraph's pilgrimage is Theirs and only Theirs to deal with. Absolutely no one shall get in the way of Them.”

“Listen, Leaks,” Shui started. He was, probably, the only one with enough courage to speak to him like that. “I understand that Konoe is a seraph and that he's also your apprentice. But first he is, and forever will be, my son. And I'm not allowing you to make him travel so far from home without having someone guard his back.”

Their discussion was making some scandal in the village's square, and people were starting to gather to get a view of the situation. Shui, a guardian angel, the most common race of angels all around the world, was debating with Leaks, a seraph, someone able to burn him down in a second if he wanted to. Shui was making Leaks upset. Shui was  _daring_ Leaks like they were  _equals_ .

All the while Konoe was considering all the pros and cons of dying right on that place, right in that moment _. Lords in heaven, I apologize for my rudeness the other day while facing your statues. I beg you, please end my suffering,_ Konoe thought. Why did Leaks and Shui just  _had_ to discuss it publically?

“Never in a thousand years,” Leaks repeated. “Konoe has been training each day to control his flames, to bear a sword on his own. He is more than able of getting through all the obstacles he faces without a problem.”

“I'm not going to change my mind, pumpkin,” Shui's voice was fierce. He was, certainly, not going to change his mind. “You either let Konoe get a bodyguard, or he's not going to be your pilgrim.”

Yes, indeed, that's what they were discussing. Shui wanted Konoe to have a bodyguard, and Leaks was absolutely against it. While Shui even had a perfect candidate for that, Leaks upheld his view of Konoe being more than able of doing the pilgrimage by himself. He also thought that a bodyguard would only get in the way. And, finally, this pilgrimage was too important to let it be known by other people. One single pilgrim doing his stuff? Obviously that wouldn't do much harm to anyone. A pilgrim and a bodyguard? Too suspicious. Konoe would be confused with a spy, they’d capture him, ask him questions. Absolutely not.

“Shui...” Leaks remarked, with a hoarse voice, clearly annoyed.

“Yes?” Shui acted like he didn't notice.

“ _Shui..._ ”

“ _Yes?_ ”

Leaks’ eye twitched. _Heavens, was this angel stubborn._ He ended up sighing. “I'll demonstrate it to you, that Konoe can take care of himself. But, as you demand, the bodyguard can assist Konoe.”

“Of course he can,” Shui smiled, triumphant.

“But, Konoe,” Leaks called him. “If something happens, drop him and come back, whether it is with or without the relic.” Then, he fixed his glaze on Shui. “If he doesn't manage to come back with it, you'll know that giving Konoe a bodyguard was a bad decision.”

“I know both of them will come back safe and sound,” Shui said, calmly.

“Let me rephrase,” Leaks' amber eyes were fixed on Shui's greenish ones. “If they don't come back with the relic I'm searching for, you'll be responsible for it. And you'll do whatever I tell you for a week.”

“Oh, are we making a bet, dear?” Shui acted surprised. “Then it's a deal! If you're right, I'll make what you say for a week, and if I win, you won't send Konoe on such pilgrimages ever again.”

“It's a deal.”

“It's a deal.”

_It's my doom_ , Konoe thought. His father and his instructor were actually making a bet on him.  _What have I done to deserve this?_

 

* * *

“Hello.”

“Good morning.”

“My name is Konoe. Are you going to be my bodyguard?”

“Indeed, my duty is to protect you.”

“Like, if I ever get in a fight or something?”

“Whatever trouble there presents, I shall lend you my strength and my sword.”

“That's... good to know. Then, I'm counting on you.”

“It's an honor to be working with you.”

“May you tell me your name?”

“It's Asato.”

 

* * *

After a week of preparations, he was done. His bags were full of supplies he'd need during the trip, along with some money he might need in the case that he ran out of resources.

Leaks also gave him something new: a bag full of magical devices. It had lots of small jewels that could contain his magical power so he could cast a spell, a couple of bottles to create potions, some branches of special trees, and also some dried flowers he could use for different purposes. Knowing other kinds of magic than the common holy magic was very useful when he went on pilgrimages.

Apparently, Asato was prepared, too. Just a look at him was enough to notice the two-handed sword at his back, along with a couple of throwing knifes that could be useful if he went to hunt. Along with light leather armor and a black cape that could hide his wings, he was ready to go with Konoe.

They went to the temple one last time before definitely leaving. Shui and Leaks were waiting for them.

“Konoe...” Shui started. A soft smile graced upon his lips. “Seems like you're ready to go.”

“Yeah,” Konoe answered. Thought he had a smile on his lips, leaving Karou always felt wrong.

“Then, the ceremony shall not last long,” said Leaks.

And so, the Departure Ceremony started. Held in front of the temple, everyone could be a witness of it. Shui, with his singing given grace, chanted a beautiful melody that filled the moment with light. Blessings were given, a single prayer was said, and Leaks cast his hand on Konoe's head one last time.

“And may The Wind give you your wings back.”

With that, it was done. Konoe was ready to go.

Raising his head, he inhaled deeply... and his back was ignited with golden flames that meant no harm to him.

Eight golden wings took back their territory on Konoe's back. The light that shone from them could have blinded a human in a second, but again, that light meant no harm to him. It was his. His own life, shining through these feathers that covered his wings.

It took another deep inhale, one crouch, and one jump. And, suddenly, the skies were Konoe's.

Parting from the ground, he made his way into the sky as fast as he was physically able to. He soon felt the humidity of the clouds on his cheeks, the cold wind trying to dim that fire behind him. But it was to no avail. Konoe's wings shone as strong as his will. His fire would not bow down to any wind, however strong it might be. On the contrary, Konoe would chase that wind and make it his.

Soon enough, he felt how the air was cut behind him. Another figure entered the sky with him. Raven black invaded his sight as Asato, his bodyguard, flew below him, covering his weakest angle. Jet black wings, shining bright thanks to the sunlight, were guarding him already.

Althought it was not common for him to be followed like this, especially on a pilgrimage... it wasn't something bad. It actually felt reassuring. With Asato at his side, Konoe had a feeling that he could fly around without a care in the world for, at least, two seconds.

And so, their journey started...

 

* * *

They flew for as long as their wings allowed them to. When the night fell behind them, they slowly came back to the ground and landed on a valley. Konoe felt a bit dizzy when landing, since he had flown for a good while, and his brain had gotten used to motion during that time. After standing still for a bit, he turned around. Asato didn't seem affected at all by the long flight.

“I guess we'll have to stay somewhere tonight,” Konoe suggested, pointing towards a small town sitting at the other end of the valley, a bit far from their position.

“It's okay,” Asato answered. “I'll be behind you.”

“Alright.”

He wasn't very chatty. Konoe understood that when he tried to talk to him, while flying, Asato answering his questions with short, simple answers. So he had given up on that. It was a bit of a shame. Asato was going to tag along with him all along the trip, and to not be able to interact with him... kind of made him feel a bit lonelier than he should.

Walking slowly, both of them reached the town margins by night. They didn’t feel any disturbances as they walked, so Konoe supposed there were no angels in this town. That was a relief, somehow, for it meant he would not be spotted as different, at least until he was out of there. Unless he was at Karou, a village where everyone was an angel just as himself, he would need to leave every city as quickly as possible, to avoid any risks of having his true identity discovered.

What made angels recognizable is that they shared many traits, independently of their race.

First, they all had wings. Some of them, like Konoe, could hide them with magic. Others, like Asato, had to hide them with clothes or capes.

Secondly, they all had magic with holy attributes. Since no common human could ever dream of learning arts that resembled the gods', noticing when angels were around wasn't that difficult for them. This magic gave them a special aura that made them  _feel_ different from the normal human beings.

Third, and most importantly, they were all given a certain grace. A talent, mixed with magic. Something that made them unique. Leaks' given grace was “Charisma.” His words were full of security and were said beautifully. He could convince anyone on joining him to his cause. But that cause was an entirely different story. Konoe and Shui shared a given grace: “Singing.” Their voice held a saint power that could heal and strengthen their allies in combat. Their given grace was also known for its reassuring effects and, in general, a given blessing that everyone loved because it was good for the festivals.

Thankfully, Konoe and Asato felt no imminent danger, in the town, that should be considered. So they just walked through the city and got to an inn. As fast as they could, they filled the papers with the usual fake information Konoe always gave on his missions, and got up to their room. Konoe disliked big crowds (being too used to Karou's calmness was it) and, somehow, he felt like Asato was the same.

Lying down in their beds, they let the minutes pass without a word. Konoe felt heaviness on his eyelids. He'd surely doze off soon.

“I guess we should get used to stuff like this,” he mumbled. “As we're going to tag along for a while.”

“I guess...” Asato murmured back.

Konoe looked at him with one open eye. Asato was sitting on his bed, not lying down on it. He seemed focused on everything surrounding him, not disposed to give away to the drowsiness.

“You're not going to sleep?” Konoe asked.

“I'm on guard,” Asato answered.

_On guard?_ Konoe wanted to ask. But his mouth wasn't responding too much right now.

He just let his consciousness drift away slowly, with that intrigue still on his mind.

 

* * *

As time passed, as they traveled farther and farther, those intrigues increased its numbers.

Konoe never saw Asato sleeping, not even once. He was “on guard” when Konoe went to sleep, and he was fully prepared by the time Konoe woke up. It was the same whenever it was Konoe needing to take a nap every once in a while, as well as during the nights they decided to use to rest. It didn't matter if they were on the open field or in the relative safeness of an inn. Asato never seemed to sleep.

Konoe, once, noticed dark bags under his eyes, but just a trace of it before Asato turned his head around again. It was, to say the least, odd.

Asato also never seemed to let his guard down. Once, Konoe got hit by a passerby in a city, a week ago, and Asato immediately grabbed his arm and set him straight, while looking at his surroundings like he expected someone to attack them. He acted a bit paranoid. It had startled Konoe a couple of times, and he had had to explain him that nothing seemed to be wrong.

Pilgrimages weren't that dangerous, after all. Even less when they hadn't even left their country. But Asato acted like he was surrounded by potential enemies. Konoe couldn't help it but to worry a bit about him.

Konoe knew almost nothing about Asato. What kind of angel was he? As far as he knew, he was just a soldier. But what kind of? Also, what was his given blessing? What kind of combat style did he use? Was he strong, or was he intelligent? Or both? Was he a merciful soldier, or did he “do what must be done in war”? He wanted to know what kind of bodyguard he had... but also...

What was his favourite colour? What did he like to do when he was by himself? What was his favourite food? Did he enjoy his duty, was he neutral about it, or did he actually hate it? Konoe... wanted to know Asato, a bit. He felt really happy to have him around, to have company from home while being away, but he also felt really alone because... it felt almost the same as if he were traveling alone. No chatting, no simple jokes, nothing that made Konoe feel close to Asato...

But if there was one thing that Konoe couldn't stop wondering about, it was whether or not Asato ever felt any emotion. His eyes, filled with icy blue, were those of a soldier, someone used to combat. It wasn't that weird. Angels had to deal with not only enemy tribes and clans, but also with human hunters that saw them as prizes for their walls, or as something they should show to the world so they got as rich as they wanted.

But Asato seemed  _too_ used to combat. Like he only knew  _that_ . Like he never felt any other emotion rather than determination to end a battle and to accomplish his missions. He always seemed cold, distant, too different to Konoe's reality. Sure, Konoe wasn't really good friends with anyone, but he had a couple of them at least. He had his father and, even if he wouldn't admit it out loud, Leaks was there for him too. He always felt like love wasn't something he was in need of, because, one way or another, he was surrounded by it. And Asato felt like he lived the absolute opposite of that...

All those questions... they never left. Each time Konoe felt Asato's presence beside him, he was reminded of at least one of them.

 

* * *

Today, they would leave their country.

It was a one-hour flight, from the borderlands village they spent their last night at, to the mountain range. If the climate was in their favour, they could travel past the mountains and camp at their foot by the end of the night. If not, well... they'd have to find some hidden cave and camp there. Hopefully, there wouldn't be any snow storms, or they'd be trapped there for a long while.

Flapping their wings, they started flying once again.  _This is real workout,_ Konoe thought. For real, he could feel how his wings cut the wind stronger each time he lifted from the ground. As for Asato, his raven wings were silent but deadly strong. Sometimes, by accident, Konoe would fly too close to him, and the wind his wings produced was like a punch to the face.

They were silent as they flew over the grasslands, just as usual. Konoe would look at Asato from time to time, and, similarly he would feel Asato's gaze checking on him from time to time, just to make sure he wasn't getting tired. They'd need a lot of energy to get through the mountains. Such an elevation from the ground would mean less oxygen, thus less energy, and if Konoe was careless, his fire could die out and him with it. That meant that they needed to be cautious from now on, for their environment would be a rival to fight.

And so, they flew silently, until the very first mountain broke into the scene. As his father would call it, this one was a “baby.” They were already flying way above it beforehand. But, right behind the “baby”, the mountains grew fast and steady. Right in front of them, there was one that they were forced to go around, and, from there, it didn't stop.

That was the mountain range. Angels knew them as “Lords' Pillars”, since they held a presence and a power resembling to the Gods'. These “Pillars” were thought to hold Their blessing and Their very essence, transforming them into links between the mundane and the divine. Leaks talked to Konoe about them once. He said that, when he thought Konoe were capable enough to become a priest, he'd leave him in charge of the temple and he'd visit the mountains, searching for something to reach the heavens.

Konoe wasn't very good in orienting himself, less when the whole place looked the same. He used some references to travel all along these two weeks, but now that was out of discussion. Without even the sun to try and guide himself to the east, he let Asato take the leadership, since, as he said, he knew a way out of the Lords' Pillars that would get them into Kira as fastest as possible. That was a real relief. Now Konoe could just let himself be guided by him.

How long had they been flying?

A couple of hours?

…

How long was it  _before it started?_

 

* * *

It started with  _a sense._

The feeling of a presence, out there.

Konoe felt how his spine shivered and, surely, Asato felt it too. His flight was not affected, but Konoe  _knew_ he couldn't have ignored it. This _feeling._

There was an angel near them.

Konoe thought he shouldn't care that much about it. But Asato unsheathed his sword, just in case.

Then, it was _an arrow._

Konoe didn't notice it in time.

The arrow came out of nowhere, and it struck one of his wings.

He  _shouted_ in pain , as his flight ceased almost completely. But he held strong onto the wind and lifted himself again, letting the hit wing rest behind his back. He could feel his fire consuming the arrow, but he couldn't feel the tip of the arrow disappearing from there.

Asato turned his head around when he heard Konoe's scream, and he steadied himself, ready to fight.

Then, another arrow came.

Striking a second wing of his, it almost made Konoe fall to the ground.

With the third one, it was over.

Three of his wings being struck, and the the shock of being fired at, caused Konoe to fall from the sky.

The cold air of the mountains cradled him in a crude embrace as he fell directly to the rocks, a certain death waiting from him.

But a strong grip prevented that from happening. Asato dipped aggressively to grab Konoe from the waist, then slowly reduced his speed and glided back into the air. He did it on time. One second late, Konoe would have been...

Another arrow.

But Asato had great reflexes. He twisted his body, letting both of them avoid it. It hissed really close to Konoe's ear, and Asato noticed that.

The arrows were coming from the eastern mountain.

Leaving Konoe on the ground, on the cornice of a mountain, he just said one simple order.

“Run.” And he charged forward, sword in hand, ready to fight to death.

Konoe remained there for a second, unable to speak or to move a finger...

“Please be safe,” he murmured, and he ran.

No other arrow struck him again.

He just kept running as far as the mountain allowed him to.

 

* * *

As the adrenaline left his body, the pain replaced the numbness quickly.

His wings hurt deeply. The arrow wounds stung, metal and wood lodged deeply into his flesh. His fire was trying to heal the wounds, but with the arrows still hurting him, not much could be done. It just hurt. And his wings were consuming his energy rapidly, trying to recover from what could have been his end.

The air around him started to feel really cold. His breath made vapour when he exhaled. And even though he was a fire angel, the cold breeze made him shiver. 

There was a snow storm coming soon.

Konoe knew enough about survival skills to know what to do. He needed to find a place to hide from the storm, light a fire, and wait. Snow storms were something he wasn't able to fight. Maybe not even Leaks was able to keep his fire alive while in the middle of a snow storm. The cold air, the poor visibility, the snow slowly taking away your life from you, all those things weren't something that Konoe wanted to experience.

So he stood up from where he was crouching in pain, and started walking. Without his wings, his possibilities were reduced to what his legs would let him reach. Which wasn't much, considering the hypothetical time he had before the storm began. He started walking, feeling a stinging on his wings each time he stepped with too much strength.

Thank the Gods for his luck, he found a cave right before the storm started.

The wind suddenly became strong. It lifted the snow from the ground and twirled it around violently, playing with it in the most lethal of ways. The Gods apparently didn't like visitors in their most mundane territory, and Konoe could feel in his bones the chill from their presence.

The Lords' Pillars wasn't territory for a mundane angel.

The best he could, Konoe let down his bag, took out some branches he had inside of it, and started putting up a bonfire. Then, with his own magic (and some pain coming from it), he lit up the place, killing the darkness that suddenly surrounded him, and making everything feel a bit more comfortable.

Then, he took out the medical bag he carried, and some other supplies. Trying to kill the pain was his first priority. If he didn't take care of the wound, it could become lethal with time, and he, for sure, wasn't able to fly anywhere with his wings like this. Not to Ransen, not into Kira, not even back to Karou. So he had to try and let himself heal. Taking out a knife, he put it inside the fire for a moment, sterilizing it, and then he tried to reach one of the wounds.

His wings felt hot even at his own touch. Not like he couldn't handle the heat but... he definitely couldn't handle the pain. He was trying to cut open the wounds to retrieve the arrow tip, but it  _hurt_ . He was  _harming_ his own wings. It wasn’t nearly like getting a cut in any other part of the body. He felt it deep into his core, like he was killing himself with this act.

He decided to stop. He casted the knife aside, a few drops of blood dripping from its blade. He wasn't able to do it...

What could he do...?

 

* * *

A presence, once again.

But, this time, it wasn't a harmful one.

He knew this presence.

Having it felt daily for several days by now, he knew it was Asato.  _Thank Gods_ , he thought,  _he's safe_ . He almost raised himself from the ground to give him a hug when he saw that Asato was unharmed, but he restrained himself. That wouldn't be that good of an idea. Instead, he just said:

“You found me.”

Konoe smiled. He was genuinely happy to see Asato again. To see that he was safe.

Asato didn't make a single gesture. He just sat down, a bit afar from Konoe. He didn't even say anything.

“Uhm...” Konoe tried to fill the silence. “Uh, I guess... we'll be trapped here for a couple of days, don't you think? Snow storms are merciless.”

Again, no answer. Not even a look.

“Asato... Are you okay?”

What if he was actually hurt? Had he gotten stabbed? Was he freezing? Konoe could definitely fix the cold with his wings, and he knew one thing or two about first aid.

“How...” Asato finally said something, softly. “How are your wings...?”

He wasn't looking at Konoe. He just stared at a single point in the floor.

“Uhm... about that...” Konoe wasn't really able to do it. He needed help. “Can you do me a favour?”

 

* * *

The pain wasn't less intense than what it had been when Konoe had made his first attempt. A burning knife opening a wound inside his wings felt already terrible, and Konoe grit his teeth as tightly as possible so as not to scream. Every single nerve on his body felt like it was doing short-circuit and it was hell.  _Great, the Gods must be really offended_ , he thought,  _I swear I'm never glaring at that statue disrespectfully again_ .

The pain didn't stop for a while. It stung deeply, and the feeling of fingers extracting another arrow tip from inside him was unbearable. He couldn't hold back a pained scream. It echoed through the cavern, probably making the Gods feel delighted about Konoe’s deserved punishment.

After what seemed an eternity, the pain finally stopped. Asato had removed all three of the arrow tips, now cast aside along with the blood-dripping knife he had// used. He asked if Konoe would need any kind of bandage, but he answered that the fire of his wings would cauterize the wounds and, eventually, heal them fully. He drank a little painkiller potion, and it was over.

He breathed deeply, enjoying the sensation of  _not having any sensation_ . Feeling a bit numb on the wings was enjoyable after such an experience.

“Thank you,” Konoe whispered. “You did something really uncomfortable for you and I'm sorry but, really, thank you.”

“It's nothing,” was Asato's simple answer. He then went back to his previous place where he sat down in silence.

With the fire burning between them, Konoe listened, attentive, to the crackling sounds that filled the cave, setting his mind at ease once more. He tried lightly flapping his wings once and, while some feathers fell and some pain was felt, he knew that his healing procedure had started and that it'd ease the sting really soon. That was a relief. When the storm was over, they could get out of the cave and resume their trip.

“Uhm...” Asato mumbled, and Konoe gave him his attention. “Would you... like an escort?”

_An escort?_ What did he mean?

“For what?” he asked first.

“For when you go back to Karou...”

It was faint, but... Konoe could feel a trace of sorrow in his voice.

“Well, aren't you going to escort me back to Karou when we're done with the pilgrimage?”

“Mister Leaks... The High Priest, he said that... he said clearly that...” Asato seemed as if his own words were choking him. “That, if something happened, you must go back to Karou and leave me behind...”

…

Konoe stared at Asato. He noticed his fists clenching hard, his knuckles almost turning white. He tried to find those blue eyes with his own, but Asato was staring at a single point, without lifting his head back up.

“Are you worried that I'll leave you behind?”

Asato  flinched  _hard_ . It was like Konoe hit a nerve. He was about to apologize, but then... he saw  _tears_ . Falling slowly from Asato's cheeks and onto his fists. He was  _shaking_ .

“I'm sorry. I'm so so so sorry,” he apologized over and over. “I should have parried the arrows. I should have done my job. You shouldn't have gotten hurt. I'm sorry.”

If Asato was sobbing, he was doing it silently. He was enduring  _so much shame_ right now; he probably wanted to die for a mistake that wasn't even his. Sure, he was his bodyguard, but parrying an arrow no one knew that was coming wasn't a mistake. Konoe ultimately thought that.

So he stood up from the other side of the fire, walked around it, and got to Asato.

He gave him a hug. A full hug. Not only surrounding the angel’s neck with his arms, but also carefully embracing him with his wings, sharing his heat with him.

He had wanted to give him this hug for too long.

“It's okay,” Konoe started. “My wings will heal. I'm not in danger anymore. And you protected me, after all. You put me in a safe place, guided me to a cave where we could hide from the storm, and I'm sure you gave a lesson to whoever was firing the arrows.”

Asato didn't move, but Konoe softly caressed his back with his hand, tracing slow circles on it. With the other hand, he hid Asato's face into his shoulder. Crying was probably something else that Asato was feeling ashamed of, so Konoe wouldn't look.

“I won't leave you behind,” he continued. “You saved my life. For once, dad was right. I did need a bodyguard. If it wasn't for you, I would have crashed against the ground and I'd be dead by now. You saved my life, Asato…”

It was just one, not born from a sob, but one nonetheless. In that moment Konoe definitely let one tear stream down his cheek.

“…And, for that, I'm very grateful.”

There was no answer. Nothing else was said... but when Konoe felt two strong arms surrounding his waist, he felt like everything was right then.

 

* * *

The snow storm was just as strong as it had been when it began. Konoe lost the course of time in the middle of it. Everything was dark, so he wasn't aware if it was daytime or nighttime anymore. It was probably three days that they had been trapped in the cave by now.

They had run out of tree branches. Their fire had died out. Konoe was partly okay with the situation, as long as he had access to some food or, at least, some magic power, his wings would provide him of the necessary heat to remain alive. Also, ironically enough, he didn't quite like fire to begin with (imagine how hard it was to be a fire angel and to dislike fire), so not having one wasn't his highest concern.

Asato, on the other hand, started to feel the effects, of not having a heating source, really quickly. He wore a lot of black clothes and armour, but the cold breeze managed to get through them in no time. Konoe noticed the shivers he had from time to time.

“Hey,” Konoe called him. “I can give you some warmth too.”

Asato flinched, but his answer wasn't as positive as his body's. “But you'll get exhausted if you do so.”

“It's alright, we still have some food available.”

Expecting no answer, Konoe got close to him and curled up against him. His wings, almost fully recovered, started shining brighter and, with that, the air warmed up a bit more.

Konoe felt how Asato curled up against him too, obviously enjoying the warmth provided. It was faint, but Konoe could notice a little smile on his lips.

“Thank you very much.”

One of his intrigues was dispelled: Asato actually felt emotions. A lot of them. He just wasn't that open about them. But he definitely smiled and cried and got embarrassed, and all of those things made him look more human (if that was an appropriate expression, given their nature) to Konoe's eyes. It was good. He felt good. Asato was more than just a soldier. He had his own emotions too.

But there were still other questions that Konoe had. Was that a good moment to ask them? After almost three weeks of constant silence? And, how would he even start to ask all those things? Indeed, he wanted to know, but... rushing a bond that was just starting to form, a bond that could not be as mutual as he thought, seemed like a really bad idea.

He just let his head rest onto Asato's shoulder, drifting into sleepiness once again.

“They're really beautiful...” Asato mumbled.

Drowsiness wasn't enough to prevent Konoe to understand those words, but... “What do you mean?”

“Your wings,” he answered. “They're really beautiful.”

…

Konoe felt his cheeks warm up, not with the heat of the fire, but rather in embarrassment.

“Wha... They're not that big of a deal. They're made of fire.”

“They shine like gold and are really warm. Also the feathers are curved and shine by themselves. They're really pretty.”

Okay, out of all that Konoe could have expected Asato to say, he did not expect that particular thing. His wings? What?

“Your feathers are way more beautiful. They're black and straight and they shine against the sunlight. It's way prettier,” he mumbled, still flustered.

He may have meant it to say that his wings weren't that pretty at all. They were made of fire. And he didn't like fire. Fire was really destructive and could harm a lot of people. Yet here was Asato, telling him that they were  _beautiful_ . What did he mean? He may have meant all of this, but... he actually believed, too, that Asato's wings were beautiful. If his race had been cast out of the heavens, it was probably because his ancestors had wings so beautiful that someone had gotten too jealous.

“Really?” Asato asked. “Do you think... they're pretty?”

“Well...” Konoe was really flustered by this conversation. Would it be over anytime soon? “Yeah. I mean it.”

They fell silent after that. Konoe rubbed his eyes, exhaustion washing over his body but his mind too active to sleep anytime toon. Asato just stayed there, curled up against Konoe, enjoying the warmth they shared.

Both of them were too happy about the compliments to say anything else out loud.

 

* * *

That night, the cold would have killed a man in a few seconds.

The storm was at its possible worst. Now, it wasn't just a breeze that filtered inside the cave, it was _wind_. Piercing, fierce, cruel wind. Konoe felt it to the very core of his bones. It was meant to freeze, the gods gave life to this storm with the sole purpose of taking a victim as a sacrifice.

But Konoe wouldn't give himself away to such destiny. Not without fighting. Helped by Asato, using the poor scrap cloth they had, along with some of their changing clothes and the tips of the arrows, they, somehow, managed to create a new blanket to cover themselves while being curled up against one another.

It was, most probably, one of the worst ideas and most desperate measures Konoe had ever taken while traveling but, given the circumstances, they had to save as much energy as they could. They were running out of food, the temperature was freezing, and Konoe had started having some problems to keep up the fire of his wings. They needed to stay warm, and if that involved taking a stupid decision, so be it. Either way, none of them had any better ideas due to the exhaustion.

Yet, even covered by an improvised blanket, Konoe felt like his skin was turning into ice.

Cold. Too cold. His shivers never seemed to end.

The cold was already lethal by itself, but seraphs were more vulnerable against it than anyone. The fire of their wings was like their source of life. To keep it burning in these kinds of conditions involved wasting more energy, and when a seraph ran completely out of it, their wings died out. If a seraph's wings froze, they were done. That was it.

Now that Konoe thought about it, he's been in risk a lot these days. Arrows had struck his wings and that had almost caused him to fall flat into the ground. After that, he had had to remove those arrows from there because they could have gotten infected and it'd have poisoned him slowly. If he hadn't have the luck he had had until now, he would have ended up buried in the snow, without a cave protecting him. And now, the cold threatened to kill him.

_Well, now I have a story that Leaks will surely love, about how I almost died four times in less than a week and the bodyguard he didn't want me to have actually saved my ass every single time._

Konoe held his arms and his wings close to him, trying to save his energy. If he was already really bad himself, then what about Asato? Konoe gazed at him quickly. Just as he thought, it wasn't anyhow better for him. He was also shaking to fight the cold.

This was bad. This was really bad.

“What can we do now?” Konoe asked.

He had ran out of ideas, and Asato's lack of answers made him understand that he had none either.

“Do you want to eat something?” Konoe suggested. All they had left would be enough for one more day, to say the most. Konoe was mad at the fact that he needed such high levels of energy.

“I'm fine,” Asato answered.

They fell silent, both of them holding their improvised blanket closer to their bodies.

“I'm tired,” Asato said. “Can we sleep for a while?”

Konoe was tired too. Drowsiness was making his eyelids feel heavy by now. Their sleeping schedules had gotten really affected since the storm commenced, transforming eight hours of sleep into a worthless nap, preventing them from sleeping because of the cold air bugging them all the time. Asato had a reason to suggest that.

“That's a good idea.”

Standing up, Konoe went for the sleeping bags and the extra blankets they had to sleep. He would usually leave both of the blankets to Asato, since Konoe didn't really need them... But now...

And they had ultimately nothing more. Just the improvised blanket that proved itself useless. Not even a couple of clothes he could wear atop everything else. Now you know why, in retrospective, creating that blanket seemed like the most awful idea that they ever had while being trapped in there.

“Uhm...” Konoe started, an uneasy expression on his face.

“Is there something wrong?” Asato asked, noticing Konoe's expression.

“Uhh... don't we have anything else? Any more cloth...”

“Are you that cold?”

For some reason, the question made Konoe feel humilliated. If there were any other seraph with him and he admitted he was cold, that would have been disgraceful. His entire race would laugh at him and remember him because of it. Who would have ever imagined a fire angel, cold? Yet, it was the truth, and it was Asato, not another seraph. His honor wasn't at game there. So he finally nodded, shyly.

“Then, let's share the covers,” Asato answered without hesitating

And before Konoe could even process what he meant, Asato started pulling out his own sleeping bag and extending it on the floor.

 _Wait_ , Konoe thought. _Does he mean_...

“Do you mean, sleeping together?” Konoe asked, embarassment rising up to his cheeks again.

“Yes. Sharing the blankets and our body heat will keep us warm while we sleep and the cold won't be that bad that way.”

 _I mean, yes, that's logical, but still_... Asato had said all that with a blank expression, obviously, since it was just logical what he meant, but, still, Konoe felt really embarassed at the mere idea of sleeping that close to Asato. It felt... _important_ , in a way, to Konoe. To sleep with another person that close to him. It made his face burn with shyness and embarassment.

“Konoe?” Asato called him.

He didn't answer.

“Are you... uncomfortable with the idea?” Asato asked. “I'm sorry, I didn't consider that possibility.”

 _Puppy eyes_ , Konoe thought. That's, most literally, what he thought when he looked at Asato's eyes directly in that moment. In the poor light his wings provided, he was able to see Asato's sorry puppy eyes and _it is the most unfair thing in the world right now, goodness, I have no energy and no heart to say no to them and it's so unfair for the Lords' sake._

“No, no,” Konoe finally started to answer. “It's not that, not at all. I just... I mean, okay,” he finally gave in. “It's a good idea. Let's share the blankets.”

Was it night? None could tell. The clouds in the sky were so dense, and they were also in a cave, so they almost had no light to see, apart from the golden gleam that Konoe's wings provided. And that wasn't too much, since they were only able to perceive movement and to see their close surroundings. Konoe was praying the light wasn't enough for Asato to notice the scarlet red inking his cheeks.

But Konoe did get happy when he noticed that there was enough light for him to see Asato's expression shift from a distressed one... to a calm one, to a happier one.

They accomodated their sleeping bags together, almost overlapped. After getting inside of them, they extended their two original blankets, and the improvised one, over them, and after changing positions for a bit, they were finally settled in a way they were close enough to share their body heat. And that was... _Really close_ , Konoe thought.

At first, the cold was just as unmerciful and kept him shivering for a while... but, after a minute or two, he not only felt himself getting warmer, but also noticed Asato’s shivers had diminished considerably. He started to feel how warmth embraced him, slowly, but steadily.

Intimate. Indeed, it felt like he was sharing a really intimate moment with Asato, but... Was it really _that_ bad? He originally thought that it could be, but, in that moment, it wasn't like that. He felt shy, embarassed, he would never deny so, but even if it was like that, it felt warm, it felt calm... _it felt kind of nice_...

Soon enough, the warmth growing between the two of them created an atmosphere where Konoe felt safe. Where he felt nice. Where he could let himself doze off without a care. And he did so.

He never noticed those _raven feathers_ shielding him from the cold, from the outside world, from any other danger they could imagine.

He never noticed that there was an angel right next to him, _embracing him just as Konoe had embraced him a while ago_...

 

* * *

 

Snow and ice covered every single corner of the Lords' Pillars, turning them into divine weapons. They were as lethal as daggers, and anyone that entered the range would be up to their luck if they made it out alive or not.

Not in Kira, nor in the neighbor kingdoms, was there person or creature dumb enough to risk their life entering to the range, regardless of what possibly great adventures they promised.

Five days after a snow storm on the Lords' Pillars, a group of kiran citizens embarked on a rescue mission, searching for a group of hunting archers that never came back after entering the range, searching for mountain preys.

The rescuers took a long while to find their deceased bodies in the mountains.

A couple of them died out of hypothermia. Tragic, indeed, but it was what anyone would have expected after the long snow storm that would have frozen their bodies until their blood killed them from the inside.

What they never expected was that the other two of them didn't die out of hypothermia. They had their throats slit. They had been killed.

One of the rescuers, a man with white hair, was an angel. A high-level cherub, sent undercover to check their suspissions about a certain _thing_ one of his fellow soldiers saw right before he was killed.

And the scent left on the scene dissolved any doubt he could have.

 _The forsaken one_ was back. And he already took one of his equals' lives, along with a human one's.

The man with the white hair had some news to tell his superiors.

 

* * *

But, if they ever wanted to find the forsaken one, searching through the mountains was to no avail.

He had already left that place. Just as he had left Kira all those years ago.

He was flying below a golden haired seraph. He was guarding him from any other attackers that may come.

He had indeed slit those men's throats, but he felt no regret. They almost killed the one he was protecting. They deserved that. As a soldier, he held no regrets for those lives he cut short.

He only cared about those fire wings that embraced him one night. He only cared about the angel he was able of embracing back, in the same way that those fire wings sheltered him. He only cared about escorting that angel to all the places he would ever need to visit.

That seraph had said to him, that “If it wasn't for you, I would be dead right now.” But, if it wasn't for the seraph, the forsaken one would have never known that warmth.

The warmth that a hug held.

And he would not let go of it. He would never make another mistake like that again. The forsaken one would escort his angel to any place he had to go. Into Kira, into Sisa, back to Karou, anywhere.

Maybe, he hoped that he would feel that warmth another time. But, even if it wasn't like that, it wouldn't matter. He would retrieve that magnificent favour. He would. He would escort the seraph. He would save the seraph if it was needed.

He would. No matter what.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to [Inattani](https://inattani.tumblr.com/) on tumblr, for the Nitro+CHiRAL Exchange. Again, I'm really sorry that I'm so late, but I really hope you enjoyed this because I made a great effort on it.
> 
> A really really big thank you to my friend [Clary ](https://tetsuos.co.vu/) for helping me write this, for motivating me to finish this, I'm endlessly thankful to you.
> 
> And, finally, thanks to anyone that reads this! Kudos and comments are always appreciated ;u; And, again, I'm sorry what kind of admin am I.


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